A common phrase I hear a lot from people goes like this : ” I’ve spent X years pursuing this dream/dating her/studying for this and now I felt it was all useless, all that time was wasted.”
And then I think to myself, “No it wasn’t, you went through something big, something life changing.”
I know that the thought does seem ridiculously obvious. But the thing is, when you’re going through a tough time it’s easy to just see it as a period of suffering and unfairness. That you probably didn’t deserve it because of all the time and effort you put in. All of it wasted, just because there’s no fruit to pluck and no rewards to reap.
It takes years of maturity and reflection to see it as a period of learning and growth. Until a person realizes that the world doesn’t owe them anything, that personal growth and personal success isn’t always the same thing will they be able to appreciate the years that have been “wasted” on no one but themselves. When they’ve looked past denial they’ll realize that those were probably the best years of their lives. More years indeed, will pass before they get to this point.
But I don’t say any of this to them. All I do is give them a pat in the back and say ” In time, you’ll see…you’ll see.”
awaitingvalidation 